yeah, yeah I know

I haven't updated in forever.

Sorry. Life is a bit busy. And overwhelming at times.

But on Friday, Reed and I will be leaving to spend the week with my family....and not working or studying or doing much of anything except hanging out. This break couldn't come sooner.

ANYWAYS.....

I don't have time to write (naturally...I mean the break hasn't started YET), but I'm hoping to blog over my 2 week break so that I can let you all know about life and what's been going on :)

School can be a wonderful thing

Reed here.

It is in moments like these that I am truly appreciative of good professors; professors who dont merely give us the material they are required to, and then have us regurgitate it on a quiz or exam.

I am not going to lie, I really was dreading having to take freshman english composition this year. For a little background... I have to take this class as a 25 year old because when I was a freshman at the University of Richmond, I didn't have to. They had a policy where if you got a score of 30 or better on the ACT, you were exempt from having to take freshman writing. The catch was that I wasn't given credit for it, I was only exempt at Richmond. Now that I am an English major at UNT, I cannot KLEP out of it. I have to take it. I will admit that I haven't gained that much from this class so far this year. The papers have been REALLY easy, as I have gotten a 97 or better on all of them, but we have read a very thought-provoking book by Alain de Botton entitled The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work. Not a bad read if you want to pick it up.

I mention all of that to say that my professor for that class assinged us to read an essay for today titled "Shop Class as Soulcraft", by Matthew B. Crawford. I dont think that I have ever read something in an academic setting that was nearly as challenging, illuminating, thought-provoking, and applicable to modern life. I will admit that the premise of the article naturally appealed to me becuase of my proclivity, or tendency, to be rebellious towards the general framework of the modern workplace. To steal a phrase from the article, I have a "contrarian streak". But, taking my affinity for such topics away from the discussion, this was still a brilliantly written essay that had a beautiful and natural flow, an ease of communication not typical from an academic, as well as appropriate and precise supporting evidence.

More than anything else it made me think. Not just think about something in a passing manner, but deliberate and dwell upon what I want to do with my life, vocationally speaking, and why so many people are dissatisfied with their professions, and why this is symptomatic of values imbedded in our culture. I'll give you a link to the essay so you can read it if you like.

For me, this is why a real education matters. I dont want to merely be a cog in a machine, I want to be able to use my mind and the things that God has blessed me with to make a real difference in some capacity. It also makes me thankful to my father for continuing to support me in this endeavor. In a way I feel like the prodigal son after he has returned home.

http://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/shop-class-as-soulcraft

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

This past week was amazing. Reed and I are so thankful that we have such an amazing family! We truly are blessed by the four days we had off for thanksgiving.

As far as what we did for Thanksgiving, we spent all day at Reed's parent's house :) It was a sweet time of helping to cook, sitting around the table visiting and, of course, watching football together. What's funny is, I didn't even know the Aggies were playing on Thursday...I guess I naturally assumed it would be on Friday like always...so yah, good thing everyone else was on top of things!

Friday we spent the day at Reed's parent's house again and just hung out with his family. We went to go see the Blindside and I LOVED IT! It was a beautiful story and whether or not all of the movie was "true", it was still inspirational. After the movie, Reed and I decided to cook for his family so that his mom could take the day off of cooking (since she had been cooking all day on thanksgiving day). Overall, I think they liked it :)

Now we're sitting here, getting ready for the week and I can't help but really related to Ecclesiastes 1...that every thing has it's time. Our pastor spoke this morning about all the "pleasures under the sun". This phrase is a favorite in the book of Ecclesiastes and it means all the earthly pleasures. I was humbled this morning when our pastor spoke of the praise and thanksgiving we can have of earthly things, that they are truly a gift from God, not something to say is wrong. Sometimes we as christians say if it isn't "all about God" its wrong. It's not wrong to enjoy vegging out with family and enjoying doing nothing together. What would be wrong is if we chose to make that our ultimate treasure...our ultimate treasure, that brings us everlasting joy, is Jesus. I also enjoyed the sermon this morning because he talked about the fact that the pleasures under the sun are good and we can enjoy them, but that we ought to know that they are fleeting and truly momentary. I feel that reality this Sunday evening. I mean, MAN, did I enjoy my thanksgiving week! But it's gone, it's fleeting, just as is every pleasure we have under the sun. That's not a depressing thing, because it reminds me that I shouldn't hold on too tightly to those things under the sun, but it's something I have to remind myself of often.

Okay, well I'm off to bed!

You are stronger

This is a two part post...neither part has to do with the other.

Part 1:

I just had to share that there are three musicians that no matter what kind of day I'm having, if they come on the radio, I'm instantly cranking the volume and jamming out. Also, I will never get tired of songs by these three artists...like ever. Those three artists (so far, I am sure there are more, but these are the ones I've picked up on so far) are Journey, U2 and Beyonce.

Yesterday when I left work at around 6:45, the first song that came on after I turned on the radio was "Any way you want it" by Journey :)


Part 2:

I'm really trying to evaluate my love for Jesus. I know that a lot of the times I want to say that my actions are driven by love for Him, but I've been really convicted about the motive behind my hearts yearnings.

For instance, sometimes I get really down because I haven't had much time in the Word or in prayer or just spending quiet time with the Lord. But I'm realizing that sometimes these feelings are really driven by guilt more than love. I want to be love. I want to not do things so that I can feel "okay" about how "good" I'm doing. Sadly, I'm realizing how shallow my motives are for spending time with the Lord. This makes me kind of realize why I'm not spending as much time with the Lord. Maybe if I really understood and grasped His love for me, I might have a response of love as well.

It's been really humbling seeing my messy and selfish heart that doesn't seek the Lord how I should.

But I've been encouraged a lot today, especially by this song by Hillsong...it's just encouraging me that Jesus is my Savior, not myself, so although I feel messy on the inside right now, that there is continual hope in Jesus.

Stronger
There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross
you broke my shame and sinfuless
you rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny through the storm
and through the fire
there is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger you are stronger
Sin is broken you have saved me
it is written Christ is risen
Jesus you are Lord of all

No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defence
you came to seek and save the lost
you paid it all upon the cross

So let your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher

My Surprise

On Thursday this week, Reed told me that I couldn't schedule an eye appointment Saturday afternoon because he had a little surprise for me Saturday afternoon. I had NO idea we were doing anything other than Habitat on Saturday and naturally my curiosity became a burning fire inside of me

But Reed wouldn't budge, all he would tell me was that it didn't cost any money whatsoever and that I would MUCH rather be doing this than going to an eye appointment. These "clues" were so vague, that I decided just to give up on asking, because I had no clue what we would be doing that didn't cost any money...so I decided to suck it up and wait.

Now on Friday night, we were planning on having dinner with Reed's parents because we hadn't seen them in forever. I left work at around 6:30 and got home around 7:30. We headed down the road to his parents house and finally, when we got there, Reed told me that he thought someone else might be there cause a car was in the back driveway. I was curious and when we walked in the front door, all I could see was some girl with blond hair in the kitchen...I was confused cause we didn't know anyone from Dallas with blond hair.

THEN...out of nowhere, my MOM pops out from behind the door. And the blond girl, was my SISTER! That was the surprise! My mom and sister surprised me and came to visit :)

It was the best surprise EVER :) I have had a REALLY hard past couple of weeks just from feeling tired all the time to feeling like I wasn't doing so well at work. And even though I didn't know it, having them spend a day and a half with us was EXACTLY what I needed. Just to have my family, who is always loving and encouraging, there for me.

We had dinner that evening and I was so giddy the whole time...part of me wanted to cry because I was so happy/touched but I held it in ;). The next morning, Reed and I went to our Habitat build (which was so much better than I though it would be. I was glad to be there, but was nervous I wouldn't know how to do everything they were telling us to do, but I did, YAY) and after the build we came home and hung out with my mom and sister all afternoon. We went to bed bath and beyond for a little bit, but mostly we just talked about life and my mom gave me recipes and we just were together :)

Later that night, we went to my CPA exam dinner. This had been planned for a while because Reed's parents wanted to take me out for passing the exam first time. We went to this REALLY REALLY nice Mexican City cuisine restaurant named Javier's. It was so neat that my mom and sister got to join us for my CPA exam celebration dinner. We all got dressed up and had a great time! We came back and played wii (I passed out around 9:30 sadly, cause I was a little tired from the work week and habitat), but overall the whole day was amazing.

This morning, we took my mom and sister to church and then to Einstein Bagels before they headed out. It was just a great weekend...and so needed. I guess I just needed a break with my family :)
And I was so blessed by it :)

Wow it's been a while....

I'm sorry that I have not been very faithful in updating on my life. I truly LOVE blogs, I love that I can follow up with people easily and it helps me feel connected with people that may not live around us anymore....that's why I have loved writing too. I really do enjoy updating people on our lives, but lately I have been such a bum!

SO really quickly, I want to reach out and say that I'm alive and well!

Work has taken me by storm and I've found it much harder to get motivated and post about my life. Danielle actually called me the other day and was asking me what is going on, what's happening in life and as sad as it was, right now, work is happening. The weekends are definitely work free (except maybe a couple of hours on Sunday, not too bad), but for the most part, I spend a BIG chunk of my time working (right now it is around 50 hours a week).

How do my days look?

I wake up anywhere from 6:00-6:30, depending on how tired my body is hehe. I usually get to work around 8:00-8:30AM and leave between 6:00-7:30PM, depending on the amount of work I have gotten done throughout the day and whether or not I work while I eat lunch etc.

I get home and usually am brain dead. Sometimes I handle this well, but lately I feel like I have not been a very fun person to be around during this time. One thing I will say, God had used work to reveal a lot of the ugly and negative sides of me. I tend to come home exhausted and instead of bringing joy into the house, I bring my selfish self in, feeling like I deserve to just act grumpy and tired. I'm glad God is faithful and showing me this so that I can work on loving Reed better in the evenings when I get home.

Reed usually starts dinner before I get home and I help him fininsh. We eat, usually watch a little baseball (or any other sport) and then we just vegg until 9:30 when I start getting ready for bed again.

Now, I know this sounds like the monotonous work life that everyone dreads and I guess it is a little, I definitely have a pretty rigid routine throughout the week days...BUT I've been growing a lot as a person through this adjustment to the working life.

Here is just a short list of the areas I've either grown or at least seen areas that I need to work on:
1. Embracing quiet times with the Lord and taking time out of the day to enjoy Him and His Word (still learning this one)
2. Time management
3. How to handle stress (DEFINITELY still learning)
4. How to go to bed and stop thinking about work (I have to force myself to stop thinking about it so that I can really BE at home)
5. Finding purpose at work (like if my life is completely for the Lord, how do I not get caught up in the wordly things but seek to honor and serve God at work?)
6. Learning to make the most of my time at home with Reed...especially when it comes to appreciating him and what he does (he makes me coffee in the mornings, makes me a lunch everyday and gets dinner started for me every evening :) :) )

SO that is my life, it's been bumpy as I've been trying to learn to adjust and sometimes I've felt so overwhelmed that I've failed to keep in touch with the outside world. I promise I'm working on changing that :)

Until next time ;)

Another reason why I hate walmart

Reed here.

Anyone living in the Dallas area today will certainly attest to the fact that it has been raining cats and dogs ALL day today. I personally enjoy this weather, particularly when it is sandwiched in between lovely weather like we have been having recently. Its a nice little curve ball (I couldn't resist the sports analogy there, especially with the baseball playoffs in full swing).

The reason I am loathing walmart at present has to do with my umbrella. Jess and I went to walmart probably around a month ago now, because it was raining that day and we both needed new umbrellas. Normally we would go to Target for something like that, but we were on our way home, and there happens to be a super (yeah right) walmart close to our apartment. I only needed something small, and there were some ok looking ones for only $5, so I got one.

I got what I paid for.

I have used the infernal thing no more than 3 times now, and it is already starting to fall apart! I really wish more companies would take the time to make a lasting product. I guess I should also admit that I should be willing to pay a little more for the quality that I desire.

The whole thing just reminded me how disgusted I am that walmart has become an integral part of our society. To be honest I do admire them in a few, select ways. If you are out to simply make a profit, they have a rather remarkable business model. The fact that 3 members of the Walton family are among the 6 richest individuals in America attests to that. But the fact that they pressure their suppliers to produce items at as low a cost as possible leads to corners being skipped, or workers being unfairly treated, so that in turn leads to a drop off in quality. Walmart sells so many things that are really just pieces of junk, but because those pieces of junk are so cheap, people keep going back to buy the same junk over and over again. Even people like myself that despise the store buy things there from time to time, simply because of the price, and the "deal" we think we are getting. The brand of consumerism that they perpetuate sickens me, plain and simple.

The Wal-mart Effect, by Charles Fishman, far better articulates many of the points that I have inadequately tried to express.

Ok, now that I am finished with that rant, Jess is a little run down from work over the last few weeks and not feeling well as a result. Please pray for her, that her health would be good, and even more importantly that the Lord will continue to give her a good attitude towards her job so that she can bring Him glory. School is still going well, but I have definately reached the point where I am ready for the semester to be over. Hopefully I will still put a priority on studying and doing more than just "getting by".

Random Thoughts...

I get to go to the chiropractor tonight! I'm so excited! My neck needs it! Like REALLY bad needs it, plus this guy let's Reed come in so the three of us visit while he adjusts my neck! It's like a little hang out :)

In other news, I'm looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday...the past couple I haven't gotten to, but ya know what, every once and a while, you just need a good sleep in Saturday morning! Plus my throat feels yucky lately and I think resting will help.

Dang flu going around. I REALLY hope I don't catch it.

Alright, sorry for the short update, just taking a quick little break!

Confession

I need some prayer right now...

I have been idolizing cars lately. My beetle recently had to have a rebuilt engine put in ($2000 August) and then just yesterday we picked it up from the shope for some other $350 dollar expense. Then this morning the check engine light came on again...I called Reed and apparently the catalytic converter isn't quite right from the last time it got replaced, so the repair guys left it and told Reed we should take it back to the shop who first did it so they can fix it for free.

Everytime something goes wrong with it, I instantly let my mind reel on ways that we can fix it.

I am having a hard time not taking control and just simply trusting and knowing that God WILL provide. Not might, but will.

It's hard, because I get frustrated about having a car that breaks all the time. I really WANT either to win or just get a new car. I will be honest, I feel like I deserve it. To the point where that is all my mind thinkgs about.

It's become and idol in my thoughts which is reflective of where my heart is.

So yeah, if you could pray for me, not for a car, but for this idol to be removed. That my heart would solely belong to the Lord and that I would let the things of this world drift off my thoughts like the fleeting things they are.

Lord, help me to experience YOU today and everyday...help me to let that be more than enough for me. Help to free me from the things of the world that pull on my heart, specifically a car. Help me to have true faith. Help me to walk in that faith, especially when things do not go according to my plan. Amen.

Workin Hard For the Money

That's why I haven't blogged in a while...a real 10 hour a day job has caught me by storm and not to mention the 80 mile roundtrip that goes with it (I'm located in Fort Worth at the moment)

I really have been working like crazy! Work life has been quite an adjustment, but honestly, not as bad as I had thought.

Some mornings, I must admit, it's hard to wake up early (believe it or not readers, I wake up at 5:50 AM everyday to get out of the house by 6:50), but overall I enjoy what I do. Sometimes its stressful, but overall it's challenging and, dare I say, fulfilling? I must admit, this positive attitude is not from me...God has been so faithful and good to work in me and give me an amazing perspective on things.

Speaking of the Lord...I've been just in AWE of how amazing God is and how clearly He works! I mean sometimes I just can't believe how much I don't see the beauty and majesty that are in the ordinary things. And isn't that just how God works, He makes us look at the ordinary to see His might and power (I mean Jesus was an ordinary carpenter's son and a King whose triumphant entry was on an ordinary donkey).

The ordinary right now is my day-to-day life. I'm not going through a crisis, I'm not living the dream in a different country, I'm not out doing mission work all the time, and I most definitely am not doing anything that would appear glamorous or amazing for the Lord.

YET, He is still meeting me and challenging me through the ordinary, my experiences at work and at home and with family. Every moment can bring glory to Him. It's blowing my mind how much He is teaching me right now. I can't even put a finger on it all, but I experience God so much...and most of my time is spent at work!

I guess I am realizing that although our society describe's work as a mundane cycle of boring, nothingness, I'm experiencing God moving every day. Challenging me to show His light and love more and more. Whether that is in daily interactions with Reed, or maybe even just encouraging coworkers who are taking the CPA exam, I feel God's presence and it gives me joy.

I promise I want to try and blog more, I REALLY want to keep everyone up to date on life, especially with how God is moving at our church, it's amazing! He is so MIGHTY!

So hold me to it! Make me keep you in the loop! I don't want to keep you in the dark ;)

The grind

Reed here.

Hello everyone, its certainly been a long time since I've left a post. I'm really tempted right now to make some witty reference to coffee and how its a metaphor or symbol of modern life and how this whole post will be allegorical and just spectacularly hilarious...

But I've got nothin. Just a bunch of hot air, and a Spanish quiz to study for, which at least should require some of my attention and mental faculty.

Where to start? Well, let me just say that it is better than amazing to have my wife back! The 2 weeks she was in New Jersey were no picnic. It was incredibly difficult to just focus on anything, and it is a wonder that I got all of my school work done. Even simple things such as sleeping were hard, and I didn't particularly pay attention to the little every day details, you know, like keeping the apartment clean and shaving. It is amazing how in 2 short weeks I can go from a respectable looking husband to a grizzly mountain man. I feel somewhat obligated to include a picture of the beard, but sorry, you're not getting one. While the beard was certainly a little scratchy and unpleasant, it was worth it simply for the personal entertainment of shaving it off in creative ways. Chinstraps and funky looking mustaches and goatee's amuse me for some reason, especially when they are on my face. I guess I am just easily amused :)

Well, Jessica and I are now trying to get used to her working 10 hour days, on top of my school work that continues to accumulate. The rough thing for Jessica is that she has been assigned to clients in Fort Worth until at least February, which means a 50 minute to hour drive each way. It makes my 40 minute commute to Denton every day seem easy, even though I feel like small parts of each of us are being ground into the pavement that we travel over every day (witty reference, get it... ha ha, man I'm hilarious...).

On a more serious note, all of this driving makes us wonder if Jessica's car will hold up. The check engine light has come back on in the beetle, so we've spent a few hours the last few days researching crossover suv's. If we had the money, we like the rav4. There were curiously some poor reviews for the honda crv. However this shakes out, we are just simply trying to dwell in the faith that the Lord will provide us with everything we need. I mean, He did save us from our sin, I think a troublesome car should be no sweat for Him ;)

TOMORROW

I'm going home tomorrow.

Like I will be in my home with my husband at this time tomorrow.

I can't wait :) :) :) :)

Jello

That is what my legs feel like right now. Jello. And my lungs feel like they are on fire. Oh and my stomach, I just (20 minutes after my workout) got over the nausea. What? I've never felt sick to my stomach after working out! Ever!

Hello new stage of life, where picking up exercising after months off is not as easy as it used to be. Once upon a time when I was a sophomore in college I decided to start running again after about 9 months off. The first day I ran a mile, the second I ran two and the third I finally got to my 3 miles. Easy.

Enter EA Sports Active.
Well today I started exercising with this marvelous game for the Wii. I'd heard it was WAY more intense than the wii fit and I was excited because it would have more of a variety of exercises than the wii fit had.

Oh. My. Goodness.

It was more than intense! I mean, don't get me wrong, I thought it was AMAZING, but it really gave me a good whooping. The game comes with a resistance band and a thigh strap so that it can measure the movements your making (you put part of the wii remote into the thigh strap). Anyways, my days of the easy little wii fit workouts are over. This baby is intense and I'm sooo glad. I needed a little wake up call for my lack of exercise. There are like 30 "workouts" that you can do, which basically means different combinations of strength and endurance exercises. I started out with a 20 minute workout that was on the "easy" difficulty level.

At first, I thought, "Am I taking this too easy?" But I reasoned that I should take it slow since I have an aptitude to get sick whenever I overdo it exercising.

I had to stop at 15 minutes.

Embarrassing!

I surely thought I could make it 2o minutes...I mean that is like a warm-up right?

Well I was handed a slice of humble pie...but I liked it and honestly, I need a GOOD exercise program. The wii fit is fun, but out of all the "workouts" they have, only one really exerted me physically enough to sweat. The EA Sports Active...well that puppy has a 51 minute workout circuit called "Marathon Training-Hard"...and every range of workout in between.

One day...One day I'll get to that Marathon Training-Hard. But for now I'm going to sit in awe of the fact that my body is REALLY feeling a FIFTEEN MINUTE WORKOUT.

Ouch.

Can't wait for tomorrow :)

Home Alone

Every Monday Reed has to go to school from 7:30 (his class starts at 9, but he leaves earlier to get there on time) until 9:30! Allllllll day long! I'm sure once I start work this will be much easier since we will both be occupied...

BUUUUUT I miss my other half. We goof around all day, run errands, play the wii, read and just hang out. I know that sounds bad and like we're the biggest bums ever, which may be true, but its not that we're just lazy bums, we just do our day together. Now that he's back in school, things are starting to change a little into what will be our new "normal".

Currently our "normal" is us together, going to the grocery store, cleaning the apartment, playing games together or even watching a movie together. Reed going back to school is a preview to the impending "normal".

The "normal" that will have us both out the whole day, working at what the Lord has put us to. I'm not saying I'm not excited, in fact, I'm WAY excited about starting work. But it will be different. One thing I do know is that we are SO blessed, this summer has been beyond what we deserve. We have had the whole summer to spend together...our extended honeymoon. We've gotten to know each other so much better, we've gotten to work out issues together, I've figured out what Reed likes to eat (at least a little better than I knew before), I've seen how he likes his clothes folded and he's seen how I am in the morning (I just can't figure out how to be chipper early in the morn!)...it's really been just amazing to learn about each other and get used to living with each other. We've had uninterrupted bonding time.

It's allowed us to struggle through things spiritually together, to be disciplined in encouraging and praying for each other and to get settled as Mr. and Mrs. Reed Milliken.

I know not everyone gets this opportunity and realizing that, I have to thank God for the blessing that this summer has been. It is a time that we will always cherish. As it's drawing to an end I want to enjoy every last second of it because once I start work on the 13th, there is no turning back. I want to be fully committed and "into" the present. I don't want to look back and wish we were still here. We were blessed enough to have this time, who am I to wish it were longer. Plus, it's just not healthy to long over days gone by. God has me HERE, which means this is the best place to be. When we're working, that is going to mean that THAT is the best place to be.

But for now, I'm going to soak it all up and fondly remember the first three months of our marriage.

The Swan Princess

Did anyone ever watch this movie but me? I don't know that I really LOVE it all that much...it just reminds me of being a kid. Just like Ruidoso, New Mexico will always make me think of hiking with my family when I was little.

Anyways, I'm not having a very good afternoon...I feel worn out and my head and body just feel weird, so instead of being able to help friends move, I've withdrawn to laying in my bed drinking water, trying to feel better and watching comfort things (all precautions to help me not get too worn out and sick). First it was the Office, but that just didn't quite suffice. So now I'm watching/sleeping to the Swan Princess.

Gotta love Net Flix and their instant movies.

I have a confession...

I have read the first two Twilight books and I have found them really.....interesting.

First, I want to admit that I NEVER wanted or had any desire to read these books. I'm not much into the romance novels and let's face it, the story centers around their "love". But, as I was at UNT this past Friday with little chunks of time here and there to do nothing, I decided to pick it up in the book store and see what it is all about.

I must admit, it is much more entertaining than I thought.

However, I feel somewhat confirmed in my apparent 6th sense of dislike about this book.

Mostly it has to do with the love story. I think that my problem with the book is subtle, but in my mind HUGE. As I've been reading the books, I've been praying that God would help me to find purpose in this book and help me to not just fill my head with nonsense. With that I felt lead to read the book, enjoy it, AND compare it to what God describes love as.

As I've been reading the books (I've only read the first two, I'm going to get the other two this afternoon), I've realized a couple things about the way the world sees love.

From the beginning, the description of the two main characters "love" for one another is scary and yet hugely familiar. It's familiar because before I was a believer, I thought the same way and had the same feelings. Most of the descriptions involve phrases like, "He was just so alluring", "I couldn't resist you", "I knew that no matter what, I wouldn't be able to go on without him existing". Honestly, there are many many more examples, but the main point is that both Bella and Edward, without really knowing each other that well, just get a feeling/instinct about the other. They can't resist. They can't handle any time apart. The book is written from Bella's point of view and often you hear her describing her thoughts and how she can't help but let them dwell constantly on Edward. At one point at the end of the second book she thinks in her head that this moment of holding Edward is better than any heaven could be.

Granted, the book is not written by a believer and is not about believers, but still, how lost and tragic our world is. I've experienced this feeling, of desperation and obsession over another human being. It's when your life is meaningless unless that person is in it. Oh how sad that we could ever hope for another person (or vampire, in this instance) to be that dependable enough to put our hope in forever.

In the end, they are obsessed with each other, unwilling to live without the other. The thing that is subtle, but I think is huge (and may be the reason that I won't let any of my daughters read this until they are believers and somewhat mature in their sense of love) is the idolization of this love. As if it is the purest kind of love. And it TUGS at your heart. I feel the temptation to believe that even now as I read...but I also know truth, that we can only know real love through a relationship with the Lord. I believe God is my first love and that nothing is better than Him. That doesn't detract from my love of Reed, not in the least, it just means that I am choosing to love Reed, but never put my love of him above my hope and faith in the Lord. I know that seems nit picky, but I truly want to teach my daughters what love really is and not let the world deceive them into thinking this is real or true love. It's not, its an obsession and although that sounds good on paper, your life should NEVER hang on a person...we're not the beings that give fulfillment or purpose. If you want obsession to have a good outcome, you can only be obsessed about one thing, the Lord God.

I guess all in all, we need to guard our hearts from the obsession that the world presents as love. Although Bella and Edward have fleeting moments of real love intermingled in their story (marked by sacrifice and selflessness), their love still hinges on the fact that they are completely infatuated and obsessed with each other above ALL else.

Okay, I know that sounded really negative...I just want to be careful with this love story, because love is such a huge part of our being and I feel like I should be careful about where my definition of love comes from. A wrong choice can be painful and terribly misleading.

With all that criticism, I can say that the book is enjoyable if you are mature in your beliefs and aren't tempted to buy into wanting the obsessive love. Honestly, I've really enjoyed them so far. Minus Bella, sometimes she just sounds like a high schooler (haha, well I guess she is one). It really is entertaining and its really made me sit and think about love and pray about where we derive the meaning of love from.

Anyways, my thoughts are jumbled still about the books but I thought I'd share...if anyone else has any different opinions, please share :)

Life around here...

Has been pretty wonderful. We had a great week, with some really good bumps in the middle (the kind of bumps that challenge, humble and overall give you a sense of hope).

Last week we came to the realization that we weren't completely accomplished at putting Jesus at the center of our marriage. I want to readily admit this because most of our problem was just assuming that it came without any work AND that we could do it on our own. We still love each other SO much and I really am amazed each day at how much I truly enjoy doing life with Reed. But, as most of you know, that's not enough. Life does not fill with purpose just because your married.

So as much as we wanted our marriage to be centered around Christ, we realized that we needed to completely come confess to the Lord. I can't say it was easy to talk about, it made us both feel a tad ashamed and helpless, but in those moments we realized our need for our Savior. And once again, He was there with open arms.

I love those moments of complete helplessness....when you realize, even if for just that tiny moment, that you really are helpless and desperately still in need of your Savior. It was beautiful and although we cried together, we also prayed together and asked Jesus to be our guide and teacher. We asked for any false idols (such as "free time" or wasteful "time consumers") to be stripped from our hearts. We also asked to be shown what it even looks like to REALLY have a marriage focused on the Lord. To have the true treasure in our marriage be our God. I don't think we were completely lost, but I do think we wasted our time with worthless things rather than on eternal things. I knew that God was working, because it was obvious that He was going to teach us what a marriage centered around Him looked like. Because let's be honest, as good as our intentions were to put Him at the center, we couldn't do it until we completely submitted to His leadership as the leading authority...not an afterthought we came upon after following everyone else's lead.

Anyways, that doesn't quite do justice to the joy and peace and hope that came through our brokenness this week. I also can't say that we're instantly perfect, but it keeps reminding me of our need and the fact that Jesus is FAITHFUL and the PERFECT SAVIOR and that He SUFFERED so that we could know with full assurance that He would continue to love and refine and challenge us instead of leaving us to what we deserve.

It was amazing how on Sunday, so many struggles and realizations from the week were confirmed. One of the topics mentioned on Sunday was what we need to do "on the road to the cross". All three of the points were great, but two really hit me deep. One was the fact that we must admit often our complete helplessness without Jesus. I felt the importance of this during this past week, just as I was convicted of the idols I held above the Lord in my life. Sometimes I feel like I just can't beat them, like I can't stop being a time waster or someone who spends my time idly. It again convicted me of my need to do it on my own perfectly and how that is quite impossible. The second thing that hit both of us was the last point on the slide, which said "Pray first, pray hard, pray together, pray a lot". I remember the pastor showing a quote after this that talked about the foolishness of going through life without praying over EVERYTHING. Every day, every decision, every friendship, every hardship, every need, for everything really. I can't remember all the examples, but it encompassed a lot of things that I just did without thinking twice about not praying over before hand.

This particular bullet point had come out of Mark 9: 14-29. The disciples could not drive out a demon and having had just been sent out with the power to do just that (cast out all demons), they questioned Jesus afterwards as to why they could not drive the demon out. His reply was simply, "This kind cannot come out by anything but prayer." Simple, yet I struggle with my prayer life...with making it intimate and constant. I want to seek Him with every trial, every decision, every praise, every good thing...and I realized, WOW, God can do mighty things, but He says that it can only be done through prayer.

I guess that just knocked our socks off because we knew that we needed to commit to prayer more often together and individually so that we could be in tune with the spirit, enjoying the Lord's company and lifting all things to Him.

We truly are loving Northwest bible, not because its the coolest thing ever, although it is really neat, but rather because it is TOTALLY challenging us. I feel like God is speaking to us in such real TANGIBLE ways. I know not every week may be the same, but this is a place filled with people speaking the truth while also showing God's love. We're still praying about our decision, but for now, we are just blessed to have this place that already we have learned so much from.

Indecision 2009

My blog is like my bedspread.

I LOVE changing it.

I LOVE finding new backgrounds that I feel express me better.

It's funny how much I really do love finding new cute and creative blog backgrounds. I thought I'd just go ahead and admit that before anyone commented on how often I've changed my background.

Thank you :)

Our Church Adventure!

Well that last couple days have been pretty exciting and relaxing.

We have gotten tons and tons of time to spend relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

Even when we sit next to each other doing different things, I still love sitting next to Reed. It's gotta be one of my favorite things to do.

We also went to a Rangers game on Friday! My first MLB game ever! It was pretty fun, even though the Rangers lost after they had a lead the whole game. That was sad, but the game was so much fun! We went with our friends Adam and Jessie and it was really good to just get to know them better. I'm glad baseball is a game you can talk at and miss a minimal amount of action because it was a perfect place to just visit and still get amped about the game. We did a lot of cheering and a LOT of booing! It was so much fun!

Saturday was kind of a lazy day with lots of laundry and house stuff involved, but again...it's just so good to rest!

That night we decided that we were going to join Jared and Abby Perry and visit Northwest Bible. We really really liked it a lot. It had so many ways to connect to community, to strengthen your knowledge in the Lord and to serve! We truly wanted to find a place that would challenge us and really grow us close the Christ and this church definitely is a possibility. We still need to bathe this in prayer, but I was blessed by Sunday's visit. The sermon was really good and I felt like the Lord really was working mightily there. The neat thing is, is that the pastor always made mention of how all the credit was to Christ in how the church was expanding and in all of their ministries. I really liked that.

I guess that's all that's been going on for now...other than my newest craze, which is becoming a coupon shopper! We're trying to be as frugal as possible and maybe pull of some amazing grocery trips where you save like 40% of what you would have spent! ahh that would be AMAZING! It's a lot harder to be frugal here...avocados at the College Station HEB were 3 for a $1...at both Sprouts (a really cheap grocer) and Albertson's one of those avocados is $1.29. Sad day. That's alright though, I'm way excited to get all my coupons together!

Finally Moved

We are finally moved to Dallas and probably 90% settled in!

The man-room (aka the "small study room") needs a little more organization as well as our closet. The living room just needs a couple decorations to be hung and then its done! We're making pretty good headway considering we moved in Saturday....and really all that got accomplished Saturday was getting everything IN. No putting away or anything. We were so tired that we just passed out that night!

I'll try and post some pictures soon, but we're definitely LOVING our apartment. Every day I wonder, what's the catch? I don't think there is one. I think the Lord has just blessed us immensely. The place is BEAUTIFUL and it is way below the price range of everything around us (and way more spacious than any of the pricier places). God has completely provided for us in such a huge way!

I don't know what we're going to do once we get completely unpacked, though. I mean I don't start work until September 13 and Reed doesn't start school until August 27th. We are definitely going to investigate what there is to do around Dallas, hopefully we can get to know some of the places to volunteer and get acquainted with the city.

Also, we've been so blessed to have our parents help us continually through this process. Even though I was pretty upset last week about my car troubles, we're truly blessed to have family who will step in and help when we need it. And Reed's family has been amazing in helping us get started in Dallas. The first two days we were here, our refrigerator didn't work, so they welcomed us over to their house for dinner each night so we didn't have to worry about buying groceries with no fridge :) So sweet! I love our parents and I'm so thankful for them. They have been so great and I see the Lord working through them to bless us when we don't have much to our name.

Other things going on have really mostly involved finding a church. We're so fortunate to have time to really investigate and find different places to visit each weekend. I've never really visited a bunch of churches before, so this is a new experience. I'm blessed to have Reed with me, he has such a great perspective and it is so great to not feel alone in the journey. Please pray for us, I am so confident that the Lord will make it EVIDENT when we find our church home and I just want to continue to pray that over our search.

We love and miss everyone! Like a lot!

Challenges

It's been a while since we've blogged and honestly its not been because I'm busy, but really I just don't feel like writing.

There are a couple reasons...

Firstly,  I have just been a mixture of dry/complacent/stuck feeling in my spiritual life.  It has drained me so much...and living with my parents and having other things come into our paths has just made it so much harder.  That's really all I can say about it, but the depth that this affects me is much more than these couple of sentences.

Secondly, my car broke.  Like overheated and melted the engine kind of broke.  We decided to go ahead and fix the car (oh that is currently in HARLINGEN, 5 hours from San Antonio) so that we can maybe sell it and put the money towards another car.  There are so many hard things with this.  First, we DON'T have $2500 to fix the car.  We have a couple thousand dollars to get us by until I start work on September 13th and the leftovers were going to pay back my student loans.  So technically, the money we have isn't really ours.  This means that we are really having to rely on our parents to help us.  I know that a couple thousand doesn't seem like much, but we really don't have much money to cushion this blow with, even if we did use the money to pay back loans.

So right now we're trying to make some really hard decisions, all of which involve spending money we don't have and gambling to hope that the outcome works out.  Keeping the bug is a gamble...who knows if it won't break down again.  Getting another used car is a gamble, what if it turns out to be a lemon?

I'm trying to trust, but this is all coming at a time when I feel so empty and truly distant from God.  It's honestly really really really hard.  Please pray for me...mostly for my relationship with the Lord.  That's what I'm struggling with the most and what I know is the worst part of all of this.

Thanks guys.

Settlers

Remember that one time when I was a sophomore and my friend Scott Schuester asked...wait, begged, Rachel, Ellen and I to come play some game called "Settlers of Catan".

All of our initial reactions reflected the fact that we thought it was going to be one of those "weirdo" games where people dress up and play all night.

Well fast forward a couple years and I finally played the game. Somewhat hesitantly, we joined Meredith and Josh to play a game because it was their favorite. Little did I know that it was not a crazy weirdo game, but it was a really intense fun game!

All this to say, last night Reed won his first game of Settlers. Now I want to win! I've won once before but it was with help. That doesn't count to me. I want to actually win because I did better! I'm pretty awful at playing though. I typically don't have a strategy and I usually make moves that everyone else responds with, "Oh you don't really want to do that, here it'd be better to move here."

Haha. So tonight is the night! I just have this good feeling. Plus Josh will be there, so if I do win, it'll be that much better (Josh is like a PRO!).

I also wanted to admit it here...I really want to get this game and teach people in Dallas how to play.

Wheeeeew! There I said it!

A chapter ends.

We all have those points in our lives where things change. A chapter in life moves into the next.

I have so much excitement for the next chapter of our lives but also I have so much apprehension.

There have been closing chapters before, like leaving high school to come to college, but I have to say no other chapter in my life has impacted me as much as my time at college.

I'm not saying growing up didn't hugely influence me and shape the person I am.

But in college I....
1. Found the Lord and accepted Him as my Savior
2. Learned how to not be such a crappy and selfish friend (through the help of some AMAZING people)
3. I actually learned how to truly trust God
4. I struggled with boys (a lot!) and God taught me (a lot!) through it
5. I met my husband
6. I gained a group of friends that are closer to me than I ever though possible...the people I can always count on and who encouraged me and challenged me for years.

This is why it is so hard for me to say goodbye. The things here are not uprooting and coming with us to Dallas. In fact, except for a couple friends already there, we are having to start over with building relationships.

As scary as it is, I know how necessary it is for us to start anew and take on the challenges of meeting people. It would be so great to stay here, but it also wouldn't challenge us.

There is a reason why Dallas is our home and I am so excited to see what the Lord has for us...but I will forever cherish this chapter of my life. Forever.

Only one more week in College Station

Having time off this summer has certainly had lots of advantages. For one, I get to spend loads and loads of time with Jess. Thats always wonderful. I've been able to help out the Perryman's, spend some good quiet time with God, and hang out with a book and the computer at Sweet Eugene's. With our moving date coming up I've also had a little time recently to realize how much I will miss College Station. It isn't necessarily the place. Don't get me wrong, in a lot of ways I prefer it to Dallas. The slower pace and lack of traffic are wonderful, but for me all things A&M have grown a little tedious. Maroon is a nice color, but it's not that nice.

More than anything I will miss the people. Jess and I have made some wonderful friends while we've been here, and sadly we cant take them with us to Dallas. Last night we got to hang out with our good friends Danielle and Janelle. We went to Casa Rodriguez for dinner and then went back to our house for Mario Party 8 and a few games of cards. Nothing outrageous. Nothing crazy. Just a good time with good friends. Tonight the four of us are going to go to the Perryman's for another game night. Hopefully Meredith doesn't destroy me again (she has a penchant for beating me at no matter the game). I'm sure the kids will have gone to bed by the time we get there, but it has been a joy to have the blessing to watch them grow. Abey and Ellie are precious girls, and Jonathan and Jacob (the cutest twins I've ever seen) have gone from crawling to talking, well almost at least :), in the time that we have known them. Josh and Meredith have been a huge blessing to us as well. They have been exceedingly gracious with their time and wisdom, and Jess and I have benefited immensely from knowing them.

There are many more friends that we will miss, these guys are just the ones that happen to come to mind right now. Jess will have to say goodbye to more people than me. She does happen to be much more of a social butterfly than I am :) Please pray for us in our transition. We will face new challenges in Dallas, and it feels daunting to tackle them while trying to make new friends and resume old friendships, but now as a married couple. God has been so good to us, and I believe that He will continue to do so. Pray that we would hold fast to that faith, and trust in His power and not our own.

Speaking of blessings, Jess and I bought the rights to our wedding photos from our photographer, and we got the cd's a few days ago. There are dozens of pictures that are absolutely wonderful, but this one is definitely one of my favorites.


I cannot begin to speak to how much I love my wife. We are so blessed that God first loved us.

Harry Potter 6 worth the hype? I thought so

It's Reed again. I promise I will be more than a movie critic when I post on this blog. I promise ;)

Well, when Jessica and I lazily woke up this morning she started to look through her phone and found out that there was a 9:50 showing this morning of The Half-Blood Prince here in College Station. Even though she knew that she would have to rush to work after the movie was over, and that we would have to hurry just to make the movie on time, there was no doubt in either of our minds that we were going. I love my wife :)

I must say that both of us have been eagerly anticipating the release of this movie for honestly the past 6 months or so. We are not the biggest Potter nerds ever, not by any means, but nevertheless we have been excited, with just the slightest hints of reservation. We both naturally like the books better than the movies. It makes us both a little sad that over the last few movies they have had to cut more and more things to maintain a reasonable time limit for the films. In fact, Jessica dislikes the fourth film for this reason, and both of us were hoping that the new movie would be more like the Order of the Phoenix than the Goblet of Fire. (We liked "Phoenix" a lot more).

I thought the movie was very well done. In some ways it might be my favorite of the series. I thought that all of the actors turned in excellent performances, Dumbledore in particular. Both Jessica and I prefer the first Dumbledore to the second (the first actor died after the second film, in case you needed the reminder), but I thought he gave a perfect performance. Harry and Ron were both excellent, and Hermione was not guilty of the over-acting that Jessica and I have thought she has fallen into at times over the last two films. Malfoy was even very good, a much deeper character than he has previously been. The special effects were superb and taken up a notch from the last movie. As a movie goer I thought the movie was absolutely excellent.

As a reader and fan of the books, I was disappointed with a few things. So as not to spoil the movie for anyone who has not seen it yet I will not divulge any important information. But having said that, the movie makers decided to insert a scene in the middle of the movie that was NOT in the book, and the time given to that scene came at the expense of another scene from the end of the movie. The scene that was inserted was not bad by any means, and I'm sure the decision makers for the film decided that they needed to insert a little bit of action to keep the audience interested during a period of plot building in the movie, but there were so many other things that they could have done with the time that they devoted to this scene. My only other problem with the film was that they handled a key event at the end a little differently (it was really only a few semantics and minor details), but I did not like it as much as how it was done in the book and I wish that they had just stuck to what was in the novel. All of this makes me wish that the producers would decide to mimick the Lord of the Rings and release an extended cut on dvd.

Well, all in all I still thought it was an excellent movie. I need to see it another time or two to really know if it might be my favorite in the series, but if you like the books and/or movies, I highly recommend it.

Venting Time

Okay I just have to vent this....

There are people that I love and care about that can get me so BLAZING inside in an instant. It's one of the topics that just makes me heart ache.

It's when someone tries to dissuade Reed and I to adopt because of this reason: the children could have emotional/mental/physical issues that would be hard on you and may not be worth it.

Just writing that made me want to cry.

Who are we? Choosing what to do based on how easy it is for us?

I know that I am naive and I know very little about the hardships that may come with adoption. The choices we may have to make are going to be hard and even our children may have rough things that together we'll have to take on.

But I yearn to love them, to adopt them, to give them love that isn't conditioned upon how easy they are to deal with. This is what my Father, the one true God, did for me. Who am I to deny that kind of love to someone who may not have loving parents.

I truly feel God calling us to adoption. With all my heart I feel lead there.

And I also feel in my gut that God would be saddened by our excuses of how hard an adopted child may be to deal with.

Heck, I was a wretched, downright awful person before the Lord adopted me. But He still did. And it wasn't easy...Calvary proves that.

I know that many of the people who say this are such amazing and good people and I love and respect them. I'm praying for a more graceful heart when this comes up. I'm truly trying to separate the concept that upsets me from the person who might have said it. So more than people upsetting me...it's this idea that this is some legitimate excuse. It's just isn't to me.

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Heart Healthy

1 Corinthians 6:19

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from god, and that you are not your own.


Over the last say 6 months or so, both Reed and I have not been very diligent about our health. Whereas we used to never get fried pickles, or chicken tenders or any other thing that was greasy, we slowly started to give in. It started as a "well, we never do, so why not" and then it became more common and we rationalized it the more we ate it.

Then the other night, after I ate WAY too much at Texas Roadhouse, I woke up after a morbid dream. It wasn't a freak you out, scary, I'm dying dream. I was running, but I had to have wires attached to me at all times because the reason I was running was because I had just discovered that I had heart problems.

I really believe God purposes the things in our heads and although sometimes we may think it is random, I know that his dream was God weighing on me how big of a deal it is to take care of my body. I could tell this wasn't any normal "random" dream, just because I woke up with a new found fear and resolve to take care of myself and my husband better.

Now, I'm not out here to hurt anyone's feelings, but let's get the facts. You are at greater risk for high blood cholesterol and heart disease if you eat a diet that often includes deep fried (fried pickles) or breaded foods (chicken tenders), which are high in fat. It's a fact that when you fry foods you are filling the food with an insoluble GREASE called saturated fat and trans fat. Those fats can't be broken down through digestion. SO what do they do? They are stored in cells throughout your body.

This is my confession: We have not been treating our bodies as a temple. Just in the past 5 days I have had a breaded chicken sandwich with fries from Wendy's as well as fried pickle slices from Texas Roadhouse. There has most definitely been other instances, I just can't remember them off the top of my head. And not to mention the fact that neither of us has made time to work out over the past couple of months, me especially. I'm a prime candidate for bad heart health...I eat crappy and I live a very sedentary lifestyle.

I know some people may read this and think, wow your making a really big deal of something that's not THAAAAT big of a deal. But I just want to refer you to the verse above.

1 Corinthians 6:19

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from god, and that you are not your own.

Our body IS a temple, we're not our own, we're stewards of our bodies. We're made in the image of God. I just don't think it's a far reach that God desires us to take care of our bodies. He's asked us to be good rulers and caretakers of the earth and I'm pretty sure if God cares so much about the earth, he also cares that we are good rulers and caretakers of ourselves.

If our body is meant to be a temple of the Holy Spirit...a living, breathing, walking, glory to God giving temple...then shouldn't I make sure that it is taken care of and healthy? I truly believe that the Lord is showing me that it can be an act of worship to take care of our bodies.

I know that some people could go overboard and I don't know that I'm so concerned about making the perfect decisions with food all of the time or going health nuts to the max. But I do truly believe that I can make better decisions that honor God.

I mean how can I be a ruler over the earth, over the fish and the sea and the birds, if I can't even take care of my own body and health? (Genesis 1:28)

Just some thoughts on Reed and my new "healthy heart" living campaign :)

One Month

Yesterday Reed and I hit our one month-a-versary!

It seems small, but really, every day is new and exciting.

I can't say everything is perfect, or that we love each other always as we should...but we're learning, we're moving that direction, we're growing, we're learning to forgive and we're learning how to be a good wife and husband. I more want to put this little disclaimer out there because I don't want to assume that we're just awesome at everything, because we're not. I need to be honest and say, we're definitely not a 50 year old married couple. But as are all things with the Lord, it takes time to grow a seasoned relationship...I can't wait :)

Is it fun? Heck yeah! I get to hang out with my best friend ALL THE TIME! Already I've gotten sick and have been able to see my wonderful husband gently take care of me and not make me feel bad about being sick at all. We've also broken into the social scene and visited parents and friends! It's been a blast!

We are in for a journey together. There are seasons of life that we will explore together, the good and the hard, but I know every day we are going to love each other more than the next. I know that after a year we will look back and think, "Wow, I thought I loved you as much as I possibly could, but I realize how much more I love you now!"

I really and truly think that God is going to refine us so much and show us what true selfless love looks like. I can honestly say that I need a lesson on that one. Lately I've been seeing how selfish I really am. Even in just a month, being married has revealed a lot of selfish tendencies that I didn't even realize I had.

It's neat though. I'm glad I have a bond and commitment with Reed that declares that we will never give up on one another, no matter how selfish or hurtful we can be.

That's the kind of love that inspires me to love back selflessly.

I'm praying that for our marriage...that we learn what it means to be a glimpse of Jesus Christ and His church. I'm praying that even in our home, when no one is watching, that we treat each other with love and respect. I want every moment of our lives to be enveloped with the concept that we are meant to completely glorify God.

We are so blessed. The last month has been amazing...just AMAZING. I can't wait for next month, because I know it's going to be crazy with moving, but it will be an adventure and a challenge for us to do together :)

I love you Reed!

Transformers 2 = poop

Hey everyone, this is Reed. I'll be popping in every now and then to contribute to the blog, and I'm sure that after a little bit you will get used the the differences in my writing style compared to Jessica's, but I thought that I would go ahead and give you the heads up.

Let me first say that married life is WONDERFUL, primarily because I am amazingly blessed to have such a wonderful wife :) God has been so good to us, and I am learning more and more every day what it means to love God and also what it means to be a man.

Ok, let me get back to the general idea for this post as indicated by the title. Since Jessica and I don't have cable right now we were not able to watch the Brazil vs. US match on Sunday, which I must admit I was very sad about. As a result we decided to go see Transformers 2 with one of Jess's friends. We had heard mixed reviews, but since we liked the first one so much we decided that the matinee price of $3.50 here in College Station was worth it.

I want my money back.

The special effects were rather incredible, but the plot was non-existent, and the movie was basically one explosion and/or fight sequence after another interrupted only by crass, bordering on vulgar humor at times, and a pervasive sense of immoral sexuality. It has been a long time since I have been so disappointed walking out of a movie theater. The writers and director also managed to squeeze in some of the cheesier scenes I have seen in a long time. I mean, at one point Sam almost dies and in a vision talks to some dead ancestors of Optimus Prime. Really?

He looks sad for a reason.

After the movie Jess and I went to the grocery store and were excited when we left because we had gotten some waffle mix and were going to break in our new waffle maker for dinner. Well, the waffle maker was supposed to be non-stick, and when the first one was done, it was plastered to the inside of the waffle maker :( For the next 30 minutes I proceeded to try and peel out the waffle remains with a fork without damaging the waffle maker. It reminded me about how I felt after the movie, poop.

Well, even after all of that I must say that it still managed to somehow be a good day. Seeing the movie was ALMOST worth it, just because we thoroughly enjoyed criticizing/complaining about it. And the messed up waffles turned into good pancakes and something to laugh about. Then we fell asleep watching Harry Potter :)

Jamaica-Me-Crazy

I wanted to share some pictures with you guys of our fun times in Jamaica!!! We had an amazing time there, despite the rain every day at lunch, so enjoy our pictures!

You can barely see the coastline, but that's Cuba!

And we got to watch the Office on the plane! "I'm Willy Wonka!"

Montego Bay airport! It was like a shopping center on the inside! Crazy!

Our beautiful beach! Our resort was actually on a bay called the "Bloody Bay". One of the funniest things about swimming in the water is that right outside the swim area, men on boats would yell out "Parasailing" in their cool authentic Jamaican accents. It was too funny. I still will say that to Reed randomly..."Parasailing"


We got to take a really cool glass bottom boat ride! This is a picture of an old fort that was actually on the island...I want to say it had something to do with pirates!

Then we went to this place called Rick's Cafe. It was on an area of the island where there were cliffs and the locals would get tips from all the tourists to jump off ridiculously high areas. They also had a 50 foot jump that tourists could jump off of. But you'll see some of these guys were jumping off crazy high!


After a while they had a real deal Reggae band come play!


The next day we just layed around the beach and relaxed. Right before it started to rain though, Reed decided he wanted to go water skiing. He face planted the first time (which actually lead him to get water in his ear and it clogged up and he couldn't hear for a good 4 days out of his right ear) but after that he did great and they took him skiing around the bay!

All in all, we had a great vacation! Minus the rain every day, we had a lot of fun snorkeling and swimming in the beautiful Jamaican water! I hope you guys enjoyed!

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Milliken

That just sounds neat doesn't it. Sorry if your tired of me talking about it, but I am still UBER excited to be the Mrs. Reed Milliken. I mean I'm a MRS.!

Wow there is so much to update on but so little time!

First I wanted to let everyone know that our wedding pictures are mostly up and will be completely up probably tomorrow.

Go to this website: http://ekotara.photobiz.com/cart/
Now just enter the password "jess" and you can see my bridal portraits and the wedding photos! You can order as many as you would like to!

I couldn't help going through them earlier and it just made my heart flutter...the day was truly wonderful. It was everything I ever wanted to be and that isn't me just letting out some well rehearsed speech. I was nervous that I would be stressed and that I would get fatigued (you know, the whole "chronic-mono" gig that seems to get me every once and a while). But we were truly able to soak up every moment and just ENJOY it. That was our goal...to soak it up...to cherish every person we got to see, to go wild and crazy with every dance...to live it up to the fullest.

Sometimes I let myself fear living to the fullest. I don't know what I'm really afraid of...mostly just sticking my neck out there, but Reed and I were determined to soak it up and most of all have FUN! It's amazing how easy it is to forget that detail when your worrying about how other people are feeling and if they are too stressed out. Only by God's grace could I let go of my "people-pleasing" side and just enjoy and rejoice in our wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful and our pastor did such an excellent job reminding us of the holiness that marriage is, how it was created by God and therefore we should tremble at the challenge of taking it...tremble, yet find miraculous joy in it. We take marriage very seriously. We take it seriously because God has shown us in His word that He takes it seriously.

So with that challenge before us, we grasped each others hands (I really thought Reed might lose blood circulation) with fear and trembling at the amazing journey we were about to embark on. I am so excited to see what God has in store for us...He meant us to be better together than we are alone! How neat!

Anyways I have so many more thing to update you on...Jamaica, the week with my sister, the weekend with Reed's parents, life back in College Station....

oh and I PASSED ALL FOUR SECTIONS OF THE CPA EXAM! Praise God! I can truly say that the Lord has blessed me beyond measure and that really, me passing, it was all Him. Completely His.

Alright, that's it for now! I'll be back soon!

Our New Blog!

I know we aren't getting married until June 6th, but this is our married persons blog!

I probably won't be writing in it anytime soon...little things here and there about what we are learning as we approach the wedding, but once we're married, this is where Reed and I will make our permanent switch.

I'm still going to keep my old blog open (jessicaleigh). Just because, even though I'm married doesn't mean its not great to look back at where I have been and see how much God has done.

And I'm going to be writing every now and then too. I've been told by a few people that I have some measure of literary talent, which generally just bloats my ego, which I guess I dont mind ;) oh yeah, this is Reed by the way.