Life around here...

Has been pretty wonderful. We had a great week, with some really good bumps in the middle (the kind of bumps that challenge, humble and overall give you a sense of hope).

Last week we came to the realization that we weren't completely accomplished at putting Jesus at the center of our marriage. I want to readily admit this because most of our problem was just assuming that it came without any work AND that we could do it on our own. We still love each other SO much and I really am amazed each day at how much I truly enjoy doing life with Reed. But, as most of you know, that's not enough. Life does not fill with purpose just because your married.

So as much as we wanted our marriage to be centered around Christ, we realized that we needed to completely come confess to the Lord. I can't say it was easy to talk about, it made us both feel a tad ashamed and helpless, but in those moments we realized our need for our Savior. And once again, He was there with open arms.

I love those moments of complete helplessness....when you realize, even if for just that tiny moment, that you really are helpless and desperately still in need of your Savior. It was beautiful and although we cried together, we also prayed together and asked Jesus to be our guide and teacher. We asked for any false idols (such as "free time" or wasteful "time consumers") to be stripped from our hearts. We also asked to be shown what it even looks like to REALLY have a marriage focused on the Lord. To have the true treasure in our marriage be our God. I don't think we were completely lost, but I do think we wasted our time with worthless things rather than on eternal things. I knew that God was working, because it was obvious that He was going to teach us what a marriage centered around Him looked like. Because let's be honest, as good as our intentions were to put Him at the center, we couldn't do it until we completely submitted to His leadership as the leading authority...not an afterthought we came upon after following everyone else's lead.

Anyways, that doesn't quite do justice to the joy and peace and hope that came through our brokenness this week. I also can't say that we're instantly perfect, but it keeps reminding me of our need and the fact that Jesus is FAITHFUL and the PERFECT SAVIOR and that He SUFFERED so that we could know with full assurance that He would continue to love and refine and challenge us instead of leaving us to what we deserve.

It was amazing how on Sunday, so many struggles and realizations from the week were confirmed. One of the topics mentioned on Sunday was what we need to do "on the road to the cross". All three of the points were great, but two really hit me deep. One was the fact that we must admit often our complete helplessness without Jesus. I felt the importance of this during this past week, just as I was convicted of the idols I held above the Lord in my life. Sometimes I feel like I just can't beat them, like I can't stop being a time waster or someone who spends my time idly. It again convicted me of my need to do it on my own perfectly and how that is quite impossible. The second thing that hit both of us was the last point on the slide, which said "Pray first, pray hard, pray together, pray a lot". I remember the pastor showing a quote after this that talked about the foolishness of going through life without praying over EVERYTHING. Every day, every decision, every friendship, every hardship, every need, for everything really. I can't remember all the examples, but it encompassed a lot of things that I just did without thinking twice about not praying over before hand.

This particular bullet point had come out of Mark 9: 14-29. The disciples could not drive out a demon and having had just been sent out with the power to do just that (cast out all demons), they questioned Jesus afterwards as to why they could not drive the demon out. His reply was simply, "This kind cannot come out by anything but prayer." Simple, yet I struggle with my prayer life...with making it intimate and constant. I want to seek Him with every trial, every decision, every praise, every good thing...and I realized, WOW, God can do mighty things, but He says that it can only be done through prayer.

I guess that just knocked our socks off because we knew that we needed to commit to prayer more often together and individually so that we could be in tune with the spirit, enjoying the Lord's company and lifting all things to Him.

We truly are loving Northwest bible, not because its the coolest thing ever, although it is really neat, but rather because it is TOTALLY challenging us. I feel like God is speaking to us in such real TANGIBLE ways. I know not every week may be the same, but this is a place filled with people speaking the truth while also showing God's love. We're still praying about our decision, but for now, we are just blessed to have this place that already we have learned so much from.

One Month

Yesterday Reed and I hit our one month-a-versary!

It seems small, but really, every day is new and exciting.

I can't say everything is perfect, or that we love each other always as we should...but we're learning, we're moving that direction, we're growing, we're learning to forgive and we're learning how to be a good wife and husband. I more want to put this little disclaimer out there because I don't want to assume that we're just awesome at everything, because we're not. I need to be honest and say, we're definitely not a 50 year old married couple. But as are all things with the Lord, it takes time to grow a seasoned relationship...I can't wait :)

Is it fun? Heck yeah! I get to hang out with my best friend ALL THE TIME! Already I've gotten sick and have been able to see my wonderful husband gently take care of me and not make me feel bad about being sick at all. We've also broken into the social scene and visited parents and friends! It's been a blast!

We are in for a journey together. There are seasons of life that we will explore together, the good and the hard, but I know every day we are going to love each other more than the next. I know that after a year we will look back and think, "Wow, I thought I loved you as much as I possibly could, but I realize how much more I love you now!"

I really and truly think that God is going to refine us so much and show us what true selfless love looks like. I can honestly say that I need a lesson on that one. Lately I've been seeing how selfish I really am. Even in just a month, being married has revealed a lot of selfish tendencies that I didn't even realize I had.

It's neat though. I'm glad I have a bond and commitment with Reed that declares that we will never give up on one another, no matter how selfish or hurtful we can be.

That's the kind of love that inspires me to love back selflessly.

I'm praying that for our marriage...that we learn what it means to be a glimpse of Jesus Christ and His church. I'm praying that even in our home, when no one is watching, that we treat each other with love and respect. I want every moment of our lives to be enveloped with the concept that we are meant to completely glorify God.

We are so blessed. The last month has been amazing...just AMAZING. I can't wait for next month, because I know it's going to be crazy with moving, but it will be an adventure and a challenge for us to do together :)

I love you Reed!