Challenges

It's been a while since we've blogged and honestly its not been because I'm busy, but really I just don't feel like writing.

There are a couple reasons...

Firstly,  I have just been a mixture of dry/complacent/stuck feeling in my spiritual life.  It has drained me so much...and living with my parents and having other things come into our paths has just made it so much harder.  That's really all I can say about it, but the depth that this affects me is much more than these couple of sentences.

Secondly, my car broke.  Like overheated and melted the engine kind of broke.  We decided to go ahead and fix the car (oh that is currently in HARLINGEN, 5 hours from San Antonio) so that we can maybe sell it and put the money towards another car.  There are so many hard things with this.  First, we DON'T have $2500 to fix the car.  We have a couple thousand dollars to get us by until I start work on September 13th and the leftovers were going to pay back my student loans.  So technically, the money we have isn't really ours.  This means that we are really having to rely on our parents to help us.  I know that a couple thousand doesn't seem like much, but we really don't have much money to cushion this blow with, even if we did use the money to pay back loans.

So right now we're trying to make some really hard decisions, all of which involve spending money we don't have and gambling to hope that the outcome works out.  Keeping the bug is a gamble...who knows if it won't break down again.  Getting another used car is a gamble, what if it turns out to be a lemon?

I'm trying to trust, but this is all coming at a time when I feel so empty and truly distant from God.  It's honestly really really really hard.  Please pray for me...mostly for my relationship with the Lord.  That's what I'm struggling with the most and what I know is the worst part of all of this.

Thanks guys.